dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
These tits shall not be calmed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
