where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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