Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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