I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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