Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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