hotel room ftw
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
