they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
