i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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