She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
