someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
