The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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