I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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