What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
