everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
