Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
