I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
