you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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