Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
