You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
