Christians are straight up FREAKS
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
