the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
