The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Please don't give away my fajitas
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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