Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
