hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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