the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
