i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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