My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So here I am, sexting at work.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
