Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
