Please, let me fuck your mom
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.