ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
