whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.