Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize