now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
