Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They took my balls.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
True strength comes from lack of pants
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
