shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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