I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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