mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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