This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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