Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
