WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize