Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
