I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
