we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize