But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She said her name was "party"
Welp...herpes.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Randomize
