I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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