Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize