why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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