i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize