Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
