Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
