i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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