Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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