at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
