i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
