I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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