Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
