I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
