life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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