Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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