dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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